I Love Stupid: the only sarcastic humor comic ever

Sunday, September 18, 2011

The force is weak with this one, pt. 7

Ned: The one good thing about children is their low production cost. It's the maintenance fees and time sink factor that make them inefficient investments. So if you can raise a champion of some kind, whose success will yield great wealth, it may actually be worthwhile.
Ned: You just have to be selective.
Rob: Meaning...?

Ned: If they haven't won a trophy by age three... time for a trip to the donation center.
Rob: Donation... do you mean an orphanage?
Ned: Yeah whatever. You drop 'em off.

Rob: Granted, in your case that gives the child a chance for a better life.
Rob: But it seems pretty harsh on the mother.
Rob: ...
Rob: You know, with all the bearing of and severance from her children.

Ned: Yeahhhh...
Ned: (a) That doesn't sound like my problem.
Ned: (b) It's a small price to pay to have a family of winners.

I actually wonder if Ned's plan would be legal. If so, we could've been watching Jon & Kate Plus The Most Promising Three.

Of course, in the future we won't have to wait to see what our kids are capable of; we'll just have to check their fully-decoded genetics. (I assume we'll all eventually be living in the movie Gattaca.)

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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The thought that counts, pt. 3

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