I Love Stupid: the only sarcastic humor comic ever

Sunday, September 25, 2011

The force is weak with this one, pt. 8

Rob: There is one circumstance under which procreation could matter to me, but its importance would be extreme.
Ned: Mildly interesting.
Ned: You may continue.

Rob: One day I'm going to die.
Ned: Maybe today.
Rob: Nice.
Ned: You can't stand the idea of your savings and possessions going to strangers.
Ned: For once we agree.
Rob: Not it at all.

Rob: I don't know what happens when we die. I don't know why my body, a collection of constantly changing particles, seems to come bundled with self-awareness. But I do know that nature for some reason is urging me to perpetuate my DNA.
Rob: What if somehow having kids is the only way we can keep our inevitable physical death from erasing us from existence forever?

Ned: Way ahead of you, as usual. That is exactly why I am a longtime donor at the local sperm bank. They give me money, I give them superior genetic material.
Rob: I should start looking for a wife.

The trick is, you need your descendants to be desirable. It's no good to have fuglies stifling the family tree's growth. Suddenly the whole trophy wife thing makes sense.

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