I Love Stupid: the only sarcastic humor comic ever

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The virgin retirement plan, pt. 3

narration: Wondering where YOU stack up in the complex world of SEX VALUATION?
key: female male hot ugly celebrity virgin
chart: group cost
notes: coffee need only be offered
narration: Sorry fellas, the virgin retirement plan only works for the ladies.

Yup, that's about... 98% accurate. Right?

Who knows... but I did put thought into weighing the major factors at play:

To a man:

  • Physical attractiveness is paramount.
  • Fame is a multiplier: Hot celebrity women are the irresistible impossible dream, while an ugly celebrity woman is just criticized more ruthlessly (but still command a price premium, for the story).
  • Virginity = rarity = value added (when an ugly virgin auctions herself we will see just how much value).

To a woman:

  • Fame, power and money can eclipse ugliness. Ask Eddie Murphy about singers.
  • Virginity = inexperience = disappointment (not enough to keep from giving the celeb or hunk a fair chance).

Yes, I had to resort to some generalizations. This isn't an exact science yet. Give it time.

Start of this series

Monday, January 19, 2009

The virgin retirement plan, pt. 1

One year ago

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

The first dreamer


Friday, January 30, 2009

Texting & driving, pt. 1

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