Lyn: At least wintertime is simple, huh? Grow as much hair as you can?
Rob: Au contraire.
Rob: For cold weather, a knit cap is more effective for heat retention. However, its tight fit yields the detriment known as "hat hair". Thus, the monastic buzz cut is optimal, given its minimal variance.
Lyn: I wouldn't have guessed you cared about your looks.
Rob: Less than most, surely. But despite myself, I must admit to an iota of concern.
Lyn: Well, the pressure's off, since you've set a very, very low bar for yourself.
Rob: ... Comforting.